Pretending
All great stories start with an incredible beginning…but this is not a story and it will never lament to anything. So lets start form the best part…the middle.
DREADFUL. Absolutely dreadful. There is no other way to describe the physical and mental torture I had to endure weekly. I was exhausted from pretending to fit in. Trying to forget about the terrible events that had unfolded today, I kept reminding myself that it could not get any worse. However, with Ramadan coming up I would be forced to make small talk with the very people who had condemned me to this prison. It will not be that bad, I reminded myself. Although it was my favorite month of the year it would be very difficult to endure without going completely mental.
I’m too old for this, I thought. This year it will be different. I won’t let them bother me. But how could I not? Just there sheer presence at this point aggravated me. They we’re obsessed with their little niche they had created for themselves, and soon became blinded by it. I should feel sorry for them. But I could not bring myself to feel sorry for people who thought their whole world existed in the small bubble we call, a masjid. It was as if they lived for it, to be someone there meant something to them. It was actually very funny when you thought about it. They really thought they were cool however, in actuality, they were just little girls doing stupid things so people could look at them. They pretended to be dumb to make people laugh, pretended to be good to make their parents happy, and pretended to be nice so that people would not hate them, and I pretended to care…Until now.
Trust no one, that was my new motto. I had been burned one too many times by the same people, but not this time. At first I thought that I only had one enemy, but soon the numbers began to grow exponentially. It turns out that the people I thought I could trust were just pretending, so I pretended not to notice. It too easy to hate people and call them out for the actions they committed against me, no this time I would leave it to God. They have their side of the story and this is mines.
